Blessed are the poor in spirit...

I probably shouldn't be writing right now. There are so many thoughts that I could spew out through the keyboard, but it would be too much! What to say... what to say...

Today has been an amazing day, really sad at some points, but overall wonderful. I guess it's these times of change or, dare I say "crisis," that make you see reality. I've been realizing that more and more- when God moves, there is revelation and illumination, but not so much in the way people generally think. It's not like a revelation of God's plan or will or illumination of the mind. It's like, things come to the surface: motives, sin, thoughts, the truth. And the wonderful things are illuminated. I never realized how deep and strong and meaningful some of my relationships were until now. And by "some," I'm really talking about one imparticular. It is so sad to say goodbye, but I am so glad to know that I have that kind of bond with someone so genuine.

I packed up my office today. It felt like such a normal day, until I took my picture frames down and took the keys off my key ring. I covered the room in post-it notes, partly to help people navigate their way around my former domain, and partly because I felt like I could still say just one more thing, just another thing. But I finally had to close the door and walk away. Walk away from the dear and familiar. The afternoons in my office with Bojangles when Joe and Pastor Ray and even occassionally David VanPatten threw their trash on my floor on "accident;" the really "terrible" days when it rained and the roof leaked and I had to share an office for an entire day with Ms. Gin; the singing of Christmas carols entirely out of key, loud enough for people in the other offices to hear; the long talks about nothing's and everything's. That was definitely the best job I've ever had, and even if I'd had more than three jobs my whole lifetime, that still would be the best job I've ever had.

Anyway, I just can't even describe every little amazing thing that has been going on in the past month or two or three. I've had a lot of thoughts lately about Christian accountability and fellowship, and money, and music, and lots of different things. It's like, for about two months my mind swirled around in a way that I couldn't even really understand and I couldn't make sense or sentences out of anything, and now all the sudden, it's coming pouring out! I think I'm changing, I hope I am.

Tomorrow I am packing up the rest of my stuff and saying goodbye to my parents, who are leaving for Wilmington to celebrate their anniversary. Saturday I'm heading out to Georgia with the Styrons and meeting up with Lee. A week from then my parents are coming back out with some of my stuff, and then that Monday I'm flying out! But for now, I'm going to bed.