"He Woke Me Up Again"

If you know me, I am pretty skeptical about a lot of things, especially anything labelled "miraculous." I can handle "supernatural," because natural and supernatural are hard to distinguish sometimes. God is so involved in life that it's hard to say anything is completely "natural." At least, that's how I see it.

Anyway, that's all to say that I know I'm about to sound crazy. I have to share, though, because this affected me so much. I had one of the scariest and most fulfilling dreams last night. "Fulfilling" isn't really the word I'm looking for, but I can't think of a better one. In my dream I was feeling down and I could see that I was acting immature, but I couldn't keep myself from being that way. I went to my room and laid on the floor and started crying, and then I heard something say my name. It wasn't a "miraculous" voice really. It just said "Dori, I love you." And it's like my whole soul said, "Finally!" And I turned and I started to see feet, but I didn't look up. I was just at those feet and I wanted to be closer. I woke up and I was sooo afraid. All I could think was, "Jesus, please don't really show up! I couldn't handle that!" That's horrible to say isn't it? I was just so scared!

I'm not saying that I heard God's voice, but I definitely believe that He spoke to me through that. I can't tell you how much that went to my heart. I mean, it wasn't just a scary, emotional dream.. I can't really explain it. It's just crazy, because these past few weeks I have been talking about how I have never been able see God as loving and I have a hard time accepting that. It's just weird. I guess I could explain it all away, but I'm not even going to try.

Anyway. I've been doing so much better lately, praise God. It really helps, being the environment-sponge that I am, to listen to music that puts my focus on the truth. I made a "My Favorite Mostly-Happy Hymns" mix. Here 'tis!

1. "Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus" -Lyndsey Wallace
2. "I Surrender All" -Caedmon's Call
3. "I Have Decided to Follow Jesus." -from the Smoky Mountain Hymns album
4. "What a Friend We Have in Jesus." -The Bluegrass Gospel Group
5. "I'd Rather Have Jesus." -Alison Krauss (I love Alison Krauss)
6. "I'll Fly Away" -Alison Krauss & Gillian Welch
7. "In the Highways" -The Peasall Sisters
8. "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" -Sara Groves
9. "Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone)" -Chris Tomlin
10. "I'll Go Where You Want Me to Go" -Arizona Dranes
11. "Glory to His Name" -Wes & Evangeline Homner (this is the song my Georgia youth group always sang)
12. "Wherever He Leads I'll Go" -Common Destiny
13. "Trust and Obey" -Round Up (a folk band from Australia, this song has meant a lot to me lately)
14. "O the Deep Deep Love of Jesus" -Selah (probably my favorite hymn in general)

Everybody should own such a mix. If not this one exactly, at least all your favorite hymns put together. It's really quite happy.

Well, only 18 days left in good old America!